Letting Go of Being a People Pleaser: A Path to Happiness

By Phyllis Dunson February 22, 2024 2 mins read 158 Views

Summary of Article

Are You Worried About What Others Think of You?

Have you ever heard the phrase, "What other people think of you is none of your business"? Do you agree? Or are you very worried about what other people think of you?

The Pitfalls of People Pleasing

For most of my life, I was a people pleaser. Other people's opinions held great importance to me. I would change my behavior to please different individuals, losing sight of my own identity in the process. Instead of making decisions based on my own beliefs, I would mold myself to fit the expectations of others. This left me feeling lost and disconnected from my true self.

Becoming a Reflection of Others

There's a quote from existential psychologist Rollo May's book, "Man's Search for Himself," that perfectly captures this phenomenon: "I'm just a collection of mirrors, reflecting what everyone else thinks of me." In essence, I had become a mere reflection of other people's opinions.

Break Free and Be Yourself

You don't have to conform to someone else's plan for your life. Instead of living up to others' expectations, create expectations for yourself and live according to those. Start making decisions based on your own beliefs and come to your own conclusions. By doing so, you will naturally attract the right people and opportunities that align with your authentic self.

Embracing Authenticity and Finding Happiness

I found that much of my unhappiness stemmed from ignoring the things that naturally resonated with me and instead chasing after people, opportunities, and ideas that weren't meant for me. Once I let go of the need to please others, I discovered a newfound sense of happiness.

It's Time to Let Go

Now is the time to shed the burden of being a people pleaser. Instead of being a product of everyone else's opinions, be a product of your own thoughts and beliefs. Embrace your true self and let go of the need for external validation.

Remember, what other people think of you is none of your business. What truly matters is what you think of yourself.