Struggling with My Natural Hair

Recently, vlogger Evelyn Ngugi shared a video where she expressed feeling conflicted about her natural, type-four hair and how it aligns with her personal aesthetic as an adult. As someone with a similar hair texture, I couldn't help but relate to her sentiments.

The Natural Hair Movement and Finding My Look

During the height of the natural hair movement, I experimented with various styles but never quite found my signature look. I often opted for protective styles like braids or silk presses, as I didn't feel confident in my natural hair without spending hours manipulating it with products. I held onto the hope that once I had a professional styling my hair regularly, I would feel more comfortable. However, that never happened.

Feeling Childish with Natural Hair

Even when I could afford salon visits, I found myself sticking to more convenient styles like box braids. Whenever I tried new ways to style my natural hair, I ended up feeling childish instead of the grown woman I wanted to portray. This feeling was reinforced by the media's portrayal of fictional Black women using straightened or relaxed hairstyles to convey maturity and attractiveness.

The Politics of Black Hair

Black hair has long been politicized in this country. The Afro was a significant part of the "Black Is Beautiful" movement in the '70s, challenging the notion that whiteness represented beauty. However, the idea that Black beauty practices and features are born out of defiance has persisted over the years.

Reevaluating Beauty Standards

I've come to realize that I don't need to compare my Black features to whiteness or white features. It's a journey to accept and appreciate my natural hair, and I'm working through it as I mature. Instead of speaking negatively about myself or my hair, I will continue to do what works best for me and my lifestyle, whether that means wearing protective styles or embracing my natural hair fully.

Conclusion

This realization has been both challenging and affirming. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in my experience. Ultimately, the goal is hair neutrality, where all hair types are equally accepted and celebrated. Until then, I will continue to redefine the way I view my natural hair and find solace in doing what's best for me.

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Image Credit: Adeline Green / AuthorsUSA.com